Feeling Much More Positive

Got some GREAT feedback from some caring folks commenting here on my last few posts, and on twitter.  The support is really inspiring, seriously.

Today I packed the following meals for work:

8am:   FibreOne cereal with skim milk and a few berries
10am:  fatfree yogurt & cottage cheese with a few berries
12pm:  wholewheat wrap with lettuce, pork tenderloin and mustard
3pm:   2 hard boiled eggs
6pm:  likely an eggwhite omelete with veggies and ham
9pm: likely a protein shake mixed with milk & berries

I went for a walk with my wife last night and my back was really seized within a few blocks – not sure why.  I’m going to reacquaint myself with the gym tonight and hit the bike and/or treadmill for 30 mins or so, not going too hard, and see how I do.

Back To The Gym, Sorta

I mentioned in my post much earlier today that I have a pretty good case of gout.  Kinda limits things involving my feet.

So this evening, my beautiful wife Sherry asks me to go for a short walk.  It’s a great evening, so I took some decent antinflamatories, and went for a short stroll/hobble.  Within a block or so, my back was aching and I was sweating.  Really felt out of shape.  Actually, I’m VERY MUCH out of shape.

So I decided late evening, after stewing about how lousy I was feeling, to go to the gym and weigh in.  And the verdict?  245 lbs.  Largest I’ve ever been!  WTF indeed.

I left the gym, went to the grocery store, and loaded up on somewhat healthy choices.  Gotta take a serious run and getting stable – emotionally and physically.  Ughhh!

When It Rains…

It pours.

Friggin depression is grabbing me.  Here is what’s on my mind these days:

• I have gout right now.  Yes, I’m on meds to prevent gout.  But I have gout.  I’m trying to drink more water to counter it.
• We blew the transmission in our 2003 Grand Caravan Sunday.  $3000 to fix.  The van isn’t worth that.  But we owe $2000 in payments still.  Tried to buy a new vehicle, but our credit doesn’t allow us to buy something decent without a really high interest rate.
• Went for the results of my sleep study.  I don’t have obstructive sleep apnea – I apparently stopping breathing on my own – I actually hold my breath every few minutes when I’m sleeping.  Apparently drug abuse or heavy pain medication can cause that.  Neither is an issue for me.  They’re trying to fugure that out!
• I weigh as much as ever, and feel fatter than ever.  Too depressed to find much motivation to do anything about it.
• My job doesn’t feel secure.  Just not getting a good vibe from it.

Other than that, life is pretty good!  Ughhh.

The Weekend

Yes, time to get drunk and naked and party like a rock star.  Actually, I’ll wait to do that tomorrow night.  It’s not so much a Friday night tradition as it is a Saturday one.

Seriously though, the weekends are a killer for me.  I tend to overeat at any opportunity.  This weekend I’ll try to focus on smarter choices. 

My dog’s looking fat.  Canadian winters, coupled with a lazy owner, will do that to a dog.  No excuses this weekend, though, as the forecast is above freezing right through until at least Monday.  Guess I have little excuse – I’ll have Angus out for longer, more frequent strolls – mark my words.

Gotta go now – I’m still at work and my boss is circling like a hawk – so have a great weekend everyone!